Trump Compares Himself to "Jesus Weinstein"

Halitosis, IA (04/29/24): In a not-so-stunning turn of events, previous wannabe, Donald Trump, claims very fine people are calling him the new Jesus Weinstein, and he's OK with that. Although not alluding to the original Jesus Weinstein, those with superior dog whistle hearing could assume Trump claims he is both a victim of fake sexual harassment claims and is also being crucified by the Jews, maybe? I don't know, as I don't hear dog whistle, but no matter. The word Jesus carries a lot of water with the MAGA crowd.

His Christian advisor, Mallory (Pious) Plutnik, or as Trump calls her, "Get that fat bitch outta here!," made sure the word Jesus was first in the phrase. They toyed with Weinstein Jesus, but Trump thought that was giving Jesus too much credit.

To drive home the point, the Trump team painted it on the side of a bus and drove straight to a college campus. Trump had decided he could use the newly coined term to underscore that #he too, is a victim, and deserves the victim vote. 

On the first pass, a Pro-Palestinian protester threw a matzah ball at the windshield, jolting Trump awake as he yelled into his drool cup, or as his aides call it, "the Covfefe Cup," something, but no one could figure it out what it was.